Welcome to Deadspin’s The Sports activities Nihilist, the place all is for naught, and we’re however unintentional jolts of electrified meat caught to the floor of a rock in an detached universe.
This week was one more reminder that the NFL can do no improper. It’s exempt from scandal, mismanagement, negligence, and any type of habits that will sink 99 p.c of firms. There was a time limit, earlier than all this “woke” stuff, when it solely took cash and energy to be bulletproof. There are however a number of holdouts who can nonetheless do no matter they need — which is absolutely what’s in danger within the 2024 presidential election.
But even when Joe Biden will get reelected, and we’re subjected to a different 4 years of “empathetic” gender politics, it gained’t be sufficient to scuff the Defend. If all of us might be so fortunate to function with the malevolence of Roger Goodell.
Owner throws his drink on opposing fans? No problem. Keep silent for a number of days after which announce a paltry high quality an hour after the information cycle calms down. It’s virtually as if the NFL waited for Aaron Rodgers’ weekly diatribe to go viral, then launched David Tepper’s punishment.
No sport’s supporters hate their commissioner like NFL followers hate Goodell, and that’s intentional. How have you learnt Rog isn’t having fun with the continued public shaming? It might be his kink, and I believed we had agreed to place the pitchforks down with regards to kink shaming?
The NFL treats its referees like mushrooms, they seemingly spend half the sport readjusting to sunlight, and that’s the way it must be. Within the 10 commandments of commissioning, it’s written that “Henceforth, all referees shall be caricatures of officers.”
Controversy sells, and the league’s memo to groups about “clearly” reporting as eligible was a ploy to spark one other spherical of yelling on ESPN. The NFL is bumbling by design as a result of if the general public was ever in a position to see one in every of these missteps by to its conclusion, and actually give attention to how a lot they’re being screwed, they may get up sooner or later and wish out of this abusive relationship.
There are lots of keys to the NFL’s imperviousness. Cash and energy are apparent pillars, however recognition and nostalgia may be as necessary. Take into consideration the businesses like Apple and Nike. Sneakers and iPhones have been woven into the material of America like soccer.
There’s nothing like the nice and cozy embrace of bloodsport on a chilly winter night time, and the extra typically the NFL is there to distract folks from how keen companies are to step on them, the higher. Hell, whereas they’ve received you, right here’s a parade of adverts to inspire everybody to proceed turning the hamster wheel.
You want soccer, you want shopper items, and also you needn’t ever query who’s in cost, what they need, or why issues value what they value. Cease asking what issues in life. Nothing issues; both you’re the cog, or the one cranking the deal with.
The NFL is the last word machine. It by no means breaks down, solely grows, is all the time worthwhile, and its supporters will overlook any and all causes to not like it. You understand what that sounds prefer to me? America.
Ipso facto, if you happen to don’t love the NFL, you don’t love America. So pledge allegiance, or shut the f*ck up.
