To the Editor:
Re “Less Marriage, Less Sex, Less Agreement,” by Nicholas Kristof (column, Could 30):
Girls’s discontent with marriage isn’t new; it simply turned extra apparent as a result of the provision of each contraception and abortion freed girls to precise their discontent by both not marrying or not remarrying.
Just lately the variety of girls who’re selecting to not marry has reached a stage that’s alarming to those that turn into anxious when the facility of conventional hierarchies weakens.
So it’s not shocking {that a} distinguished function of the MAGA motion is an effort to bully girls again into dependency by appointing Supreme Courtroom judges keen to revoke their entry to abortion and maybe additionally contraception.
This bullying will get dressed up in non secular rhetoric that ignores the plain fact that our freedom of faith should at all times embody freedom from others’ non secular convictions.
The one approach to have a satisfying marriage is for each companions to need to be in it. Mr. Kristof is true to emphasise the necessity for males and marriage to vary, not for ladies to lose the power to decide on what sort of life they need.
Susan Stewart
Broomfield, Colo.
The author is a retired marriage and household therapist and a co-author of “Flying Solo: Single Girls in Midlife.”
To the Editor:
I share in Nicholas Kristof’s lament that our society is more and more cynical about romance and marriage, and I used to be upset to learn that so many ladies consider that males are merely incapable of participating in a joyful and equal partnership. Is my great husband actually such a rarity?
In our 15-year relationship, I’ve by no means as soon as questioned the worth of our dedication. He’s my companion, confidant and cheerleader. We handle our family as a crew, divvy up duties and make joint selections about our son’s care. We discuss every part below the solar. Over dinner, we share what we’re grateful for.
Actually, it’s true that some males are apathetic, others violent and merciless, and ladies deserve and may demand higher. However there are actual winners on the market, too. Males who present up, do the dishes, hug their kids and love their companions.
I hope future generations are usually not so jaded as to dismiss the potential of soul mates, of all sexual orientations. I hope that sometime, somebody someplace provides my son an opportunity to point out that he’s candy, honest and supportive, identical to his dad.
Olivia V. Sanderfoot
Los Angeles
To the Editor:
Somewhat than repeated paeans to conventional marriage and monogamy and constant bemoaning of recent society’s inexorable transfer away from each, society wants new myths, fashions and establishments to assist and applaud fashionable, brave and pioneering women and men who select fulfilling lives and not using a everlasting lifetime accomplice.
Nicholas Kristof may think about using his appreciable intelligence and creativeness in service of this want.
Roliff Purrington
Vienna
A Misguided Arms Competitors With China
To the Editor:
Re “America’s Military Is Not Prepared for War — or Peace,” by Roger Wicker (Opinion visitor essay, nytimes.com, Could 29):
Senator Wicker’s proposal to plow a whole bunch of billions of {dollars} right into a lavishly funded high-tech arms competitors with China over the following few years is deeply misguided. It might make a devastating struggle between two nuclear-armed superpowers extra probably even because it diverts funds from different pressing nationwide wants.
As I famous in a paper I wrote for the Brown College Prices of Struggle Mission final yr, the US spends roughly twice as a lot on its navy as China does, and it far outpaces the nation in numbers of nuclear weapons, superior fight plane, transport methods and whole naval firepower.
The wild card is the race for hypersonic weapons and autonomous weapons methods managed through synthetic intelligence, the place relative U.S. and Chinese language capabilities are tougher to find out. However that is exactly why dialogue about whether or not and deploy these harmful new applied sciences is most urgently essential.
Cooperation between the US and China might be important if we’re to deal with probably the most urgent threats to our frequent future, from local weather change to pandemics to world inequality. Doubling down on a militarized coverage towards Beijing is the worst potential approach to maintain the peace within the many years to return.
William D. Hartung
New York
The author is a senior analysis fellow on the Quincy Institute for Accountable Statecraft.
To the Editor:
Re “Doctors Are Still Figuring Out Adult A.D.H.D.” (Science Occasions, Could 28):
As a psychiatrist who has handled many grownup instances of A.D.H.D., I admire your considerate article. One issue not talked about within the problem of creating a analysis is the affected person’s response to treatment. Whereas the person signs of A.D.H.D. are usually not distinctive to that situation, if a enough variety of them are current to counsel the analysis, a drugs trial can present helpful info.
The best medicines are some types of the stimulants Adderall and Ritalin. However sufferers with A.D.H.D., given their physiology, are much less more likely to expertise the stimulant results of those medicines; they as an alternative expertise improved consideration and group. Subsequently, a affected person’s capability to comfortably tolerate the treatment will be a further diagnostic clue.
Relating to coexisting circumstances, like substance use dysfunction, despair or nervousness, these circumstances are sometimes a consequence of A.D.H.D. Particularly in sufferers who are usually not but identified with A.D.H.D., the obvious misuse of stimulants reminiscent of cocaine can signify an try at self-medication to deal with the signs of A.D.H.D.
Additionally, extra consideration must be paid to the emotional penalties of undiagnosed A.D.H.D. The frustration of making an attempt to perform within the presence of A.D.H.D. signs can typically have an effect on one’s sense of self and may contribute to nervousness or despair, or each.
Bruce Cody Fisher
San Francisco
Trump’s Divisive Rhetoric
To the Editor:
Re “The Trump-Oprah Voter,” by Kristen Soltis Anderson (Opinion visitor essay, Could 28):
Ms. Anderson’s evaluation of Donald Trump’s attraction doesn’t handle the general public’s duty in electing such an individual to the presidency. The “energy of movie star to form public opinion” is the first problem that must be explored. It appears the American voter would reasonably be entertained than handle the problems that have an effect on their lives.
The previous president lately stated there could be a “blood bathtub” if he wasn’t elected. He additionally lately stated that “any Jewish person who votes for Democrats hates their faith.” The rhetoric that Mr. Trump makes use of to castigate opponents is interesting to the uneducated.
When Mr. Trump stated immigrants are “poisoning the blood our nation,” I anticipated an informed public to unequivocally reject and condemn such nonsense. When he and his supporters say “make America nice once more,” an informed public ought to ask what precisely meaning. Mr. Trump’s infantile name-calling and disparagement of others must be examined as irresponsible political rhetoric.
When he makes such feedback as “the menace from outdoors forces is much much less sinister, harmful and grave than the menace from inside,” it’s incumbent upon voters to debate the proof that helps such an assertion. Mr. Trump wouldn’t be a professional political determine with an enlightened public.
Larry Hoffner
New York